There's an actual test!I was doing some research for my Sex-dar calibration posts and decided to see if anyone has already studied Sex-dar. I thought maybe someone had documented the tiny body language signals, the intuition and the subtle cues which - put together - are what I'm calling Sex-dar.
I ended up finding this book: Mating Intelligence Unleashed: The Role of the Mind in Sex, Dating and Love
The book is awful. I won't even bother actually giving it a review here. BUT...it did point me to the SLUT TEST and for that reason alone it was worth reading it!
I'll boil the whole book down for you: You see, biologically speaking, sex happens to make babies and the continuation of your own genes via making babies is the only reason your body wants to have sex. So the person with the most Mating Intelligence is the one who has the most partnered hetero sex, because that gave him or her the most chances at having babies. They consider this as having the most Mating Intelligence because the mater had to use their minds to employ complex strategies to beat out all competitors and simultaneously seduce the most sex partners.
For women, it isn't the MOST sex partners, but it can still be a lot of sex partners. Her number is only smaller because for her to be the most successful at baby making (remember? it's the only reason to have sex) means that her choices in partners would be of the healthiest and "best" gene pool of all males. So the guys are the biggest sluts and the women are simply gold diggers.
In case you were interested in knowing how high or low your Mating Intelligence is, the authors have compiled a test for you to take. And according to this test, the award for winner of human evolution is...you guessed it...
Sluts Win Mating Intelligence Contest!
No joke! There is now a way to test your sluttiness. And my husband and I both scored very high on this test. But that's just because we are technically sluts.
Here's the link to the same test that was in the book: The Mating Intelligence Test
It was published on Psychology Today. The link takes you right to the test, and the scoring instructions are at the bottom.
(Spoiler Alert!)
I'm going to copy the questions below along with the "correct" (ie: sluttiest) answers. So if you want to take this test without knowing the "correct" answers, open the link above and take it now. It is easy, only takes a couple of minutes total. You'll need some way to jot down your answers to 24 true or false questions.
Ready? Tested? Ok.
First I wanted to point out that there is a different test for men and women. But they are fairly similar. This test is used to ascertain the following:
*your sexual confidence
*your ability to flirt
*your ability to accurately identify when people are flirting with you
*your promiscuity
*your "worth" (for guys worth = wealth, for gals worth = beauty)
*your ability to successfully lie and cheat
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| The World of Screwing Just to Make Babies: Apparently filled with sluts. |
But really? They (the authors of this book) think that primal instincts are the only thing that is behind our desires to have sex? That's just bizarre to me. I actually believe there are emotional and spiritual reasons behind everything we do, especially the sexual decisions we make. I believe that we all know damn good and well that we don't plan to make babies every time we have sex and that our conscious motivations of intimacy, closeness, pleasure and love are the main reasons we choose to have sex. In fact, I'd bet that we evolved deliberately as a species to get to a point where we can have sex without making babies just so that we can take sex to a higher evolutionary level.
Meh, but that's just me going off, and I have no science to back it up. Those are my intuitive feelings about our true motivations for sex...there's no evidence for it, it is just my opinion. (I am married to a Sex God though, so take that into account. My theories about sex are truly heavenly).
Now...back to my rant about this hysterical test.
Here are all questions with the "correct" answers marked for you,
For Men
- (F) I think most women just like me as a friend.
- (T) I have slept with many beautiful women.
- (T) I'm pretty good at knowing if a woman is attracted to me.
- (F) I'm definitely not the best at taking care of kids.
- (T) I'm good at saying the right things to women I flirt with.
- (F) I haven't had as many sexual partners compared with other guys I know (who are my age).
- (F) I have a difficult time expressing complex ideas to others.
- (T) I am good at picking up signals of interest from women.
- (T) I'm definitely near the top of the status totem pole in my social circles.
- (F) I doubt that I'll ever be a huge financial success.
- (T) If I wanted to, I could convince a woman that I'm really a prince from some little-known European country.
- (F) Honestly, I don't get women at all!
- (T) Women tend to flirt with me pretty regularly.
- (T) If a woman doesn't seem interested in me, I figure she doesn't know what she's missing!
- (T) Women definitely find me attractive.
- (T) I've dated many intelligent women.
- (T) People tell me that I have a great sense of humor.
- (F) When I lie to women, I always get caught!
- (F) I am usually wrong about who is interested in me romantically.
- (F) It's hard for me to get women to see my virtues.
- (T) At parties, I tend to tell stories that catch the attention of women.
- (F) I'm not very talented in the arts.
- (F) I can attract women, but they rarely end up interested in me sexually.
- (F) When a woman smiles at me, I assume she's just being friendly.
For Women
- (T) I can tell when a man is being genuine and sincere in his affections toward me.
- (F) I doubt I could ever pull off cheating on my beau.
- (T) I look younger than most women my age.
- (F) When a guy doesn't seem interested in me, I take it personally and assume something is wrong with me.
- (F) Good looking guys never seem into me.
- (T) I have a sense of style and wear clothes that make me look sexy.
- (T) I attract many wealthy, successful men.
- (F) Honestly, I don't think I understand men at all!
- (F) With me, a guy gets what he sees—no pretenses here.
- (T) If I wanted to make my current guy jealous, I could easily get the attention of other guys.
- (F) Men don't tend to be interested in my mind.
- (T) I'm definitely more creative than most people.
- (F) I hardly ever know when a guy likes me romantically.
- (T) I laugh a lot at men's jokes.
- (T) If a guy doesn't want to date me, I figure he doesn't know what he's missing!
- (F) I am not very artistic.
- (T) My current beau spends a lot of money on material items for me (such as jewelry).
- (T) I am usually right on the money about a man's intentions toward me.
- (F) I really don't have a great body compared with other women I know.
- (F) Intelligent guys never seem interested in dating me.
- (F) I believe that most men are actually more interested in long-term relationships than they're given credit for.
- (T) Most guys who are nice to me are just trying to get into my pants.
- (F) When it comes down to it, I think most men want to get married and have children.
- (T) If I have sex with a man too soon, I know he will leave me.
Let's discuss.
There are several confidence related questions on this test. It is popular thinking that to be successful
sexually, you have to be confident. I think most people agree that confidence is sexy. My husband and I are both confident (and sexy) and we are both highly sexual.
BUT...I know people who are humble who are also highly sexual and have great sex lives. I wouldn't call them confident, rather they are self-assured and don't compare themselves to others. Displaying confidence isn't necessary when you don't have any reason to. If you are in a happy, committed sexual relationship, or even a quiet, casual one, you may never have any reason to exhibit confidence while still having some out-of-this-world-good sex.
Confidence is sexy, but it isn't the ONLY thing that is sexy. There are many people who wouldn't qualify as greatly confident who ARE highly sexual and sexy. This test is bullshit! But let's keep going because this is way fun.
There are several questions on this test about your "worth" as a mate, and they are really pretty slimy. We are apparently only worth as much money or beauty as we have in The World of Screwing Just to Make Babies.
Take this question for example: My current beau spends a lot of money on material items for me (such as jewelry). Correct answer = True
The implication is that you have to be a really HOT woman to attract "wealthy, successful men" and to get these men to buy you jewelry. And the rest of the slimy questions are pretty obvious, right? The ones that indicate that men need wealth to be Intelligent Maters and women need beauty. And the man trades his wealth for her beauty. (groan...)
Did you catch that? Listen again: wealth and beauty are NOT required for great sex. You could make everyone on earth blind and make everyone poor, and the highly sexual people, the ESP's and the Unicorns would still find each other and have some rockin' good sex.
Yeah I know, there's no way to test that...I just know it intuitively. But isn't that just sort of common sense, too? Forget babies!
We consciously driven humans get pleasure, intimacy and love from sex, none of which are dependent on beauty or wealth.
The artistic question was on both the mens and womens test. And in the book they had reported that artistic people had a higher sex partner count than other people. So while it isn't a direct hit to the slut meter, the "correct" answer (that yes, you are artistic) indicates you have a higher sluttiness potential than non-artistic people.
I actually liked the question on the womens test about "if I have sex with a man too soon" because that is sort of a trick-slut question for most women, even us highly sexual ones.
Most women have learned that having sex too soon doesn't necessarily make a man bolt.
Though us highly sexual chicks know that some men will bolt after sex too soon simply because you are more sexual than he is and he knows he won't be able to sexually rise to your level. So sometimes it really WAS him, not you!
And this is a hard lesson to understand but once you do understand it, then you know the correct answer to that test question.
If you have sex with JUST ANY man too soon, he MIGHT leave you.
But if you have sex with the right man in the right circumstances, there is no such thing as "too soon".
Sluts understand this one clearly. Getting to that level of self-awareness takes some time, however.
Again I have to ask these authors...really?
Ok - let's just go with it. The higher your chances at having a zillion healthy babies, the higher your Mating Intelligence is, ok fine.
I can buy that as long as we are ONLY talking about mating for babies.
What about Sexual Intelligence?
Having fun, wild, satisfying, connected and fulfilling sex has nothing to do with making babies.
Therefore, your Sexual Intelligence is on a different scale. Sexual Intelligence also comes from a different set of values. It is what happens when you stop valuing (hypothetical) babies, and start valuing sex itself, and real intimacy. I'm all for feeling totally animal and biological about things...but that isn't where the best sex always is. "Gimme your baby, baby" is a fun sex game. But do these authors think it is the only one? How about "thank GOD we are protected against having a baby, baby!" Now that's hot.
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| How you doin'? |
You can have both Mating Intelligence and Sexual Intelligence simultaneously, and separate the (hypothetical) babies from your sexual experiences!
But according to the authors of this book those babies are supposedly the subconscious motivation for all of our sexual endeavors.
All I say to that is...gimme a break.
One way you can display Sexual Intelligence is by being able to be monogamous, by choice and by self-discipline. Cheating is actually very easy and shows no intelligence. It just shows a desire to dupe others. When you dupe someone, it isn't because you are smarter than they are, it just means you are mean. If you value being mean, you can expect to attract others who are also mean and will be trying to dupe you in return. How is that intelligent?
Sexually Intelligent people value consent, intimacy and emotional connection. They also know where their birth control is at all times, because it is highly Sexually Intelligent to NOT make a baby every time you have sex.
Check out this book by Dr. Marty Klein...I will be reviewing it on my blog soon: Sexual Intelligence - What We Really Want From Sex and How to Get It
If you really only want to mate to make hypothetical babies, you don't have to be any good at sex or even be highly sexual. Neither being a slut nor making a baby require any Sexual Intelligence.I do happen to be a slut and I did score very high on the Mating Intelligence test. But I also have high Sexual Intelligence which is far more important to me (and more fun, too). Being a slut pales in comparison to being sexually fulfilled by the lover of your dreams.
I'm going to create my own Sexual Intelligence test, and I will come back and link it here when I'm done. I'm sure you'll score high. Stay tuned!
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Added 2/7/14: I finished my own test...see the blog post here: The Sexual Intelligence Test
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