Thursday, October 10, 2013

Body Worship

Recently I’ve made a few posts that discuss the open access policy we have in our marriage (where he has access to take many liberties with my body) in this post: Groping, Harassment, and more... and what a lusty, hands-on Boob man my husband is in this post: Boobs .

But to paint a fuller picture, there is another fun aspect to our sex life that I wanted to blog about today....

Body Worship is different than all the fun grabby stuff we do.  Body worship is more about looking at each other's bodies and touching tenderly and lovingly…while admiring the sheer beauty of each other.  We do this a lot, like daily at least once.  And even when we aren’t together I find myself worshiping his body in my mind…basically fantasizing about looking at and touching or kissing every part of his body.

Properly worshiping each other’s bodies is a huge part of our sex life.  I hate to admit it, but my husband actually had to teach me how to do this right.

I had to start with learning how to allow my body being worshiped correctly.  I wasn’t able to truly be vulnerable and powerful at the same time when he wanted to worship my body in the beginning of our relationship.  For instance, it might make me giggle uncontrollably to strip for him back then.  Or worse than that, it sometimes made me act arrogant to be worshiped.

Sexual arrogance is what happens when you are suddenly full of yourself but not actually using your real Sexual Power.  Instead, you momentarily believe you have something someone else wants and you use it against them.  This is a misunderstanding of a Sexual Power exchange, where you believe that you are “hotter” than your partner and that you have something you could jerk them around with.

There are some men who can be very affected by a hot woman’s body, and for some women who experience this, it seems like they want us to sort of have a stripper’s attitude of “hey you would pay for this and you know it”.  When I first met my husband, I was under the mis-impression that a stripper-type attitude was hot. 

He immediately taught me that this is simply arrogance, and that it isn’t hot.  He can worship me physically but will only do so willingly.  I do not have power over him just because I have the feminine body type he loves.  He does not and will not view me as a stripper, in other words. 

He worships my body because it is his body’s lover and because our bodies are in love with each other.  There is no top or bottom in that area of worship.  It comes from our bodies to each other as equals.  Our bodies know what each other’s bodies are capable of sexually, and that is an equal endeavor we are both a part of.

There’s no "hotter than" or any scale of power between our bodies.  They don’t roll that way.  They just worship each other cleanly and with no agenda other than to express their real desire.

It took some time for my husband to get me to understand that when he wants to worship my body, I don’t have to do anything but accept it and let him truly worship me.  I had some issues that I had to work through before I could be completely comfortable about being worshiped.

But once I learned to do it right, I felt my own sexual potentials rise immediately.  Before that I had never been able to completely allow myself to be worshiped in an honest and loving way.  Sexual dysfunctions suck!  They can pop up out of nowhere and you don’t even know they are there until you do something that makes them arise out of thin air...like suddenly feeling inappropriately insecure and shutting yourself down during a sexual moment that should be great.

Thankfully...I kicked the shit out of my dysfunctions!  Hurrah!  And then I was able to learn to accept and receive worship happily ...and I do accept it all the time now, without letting it make me arrogant.  It feels wonderful to let my body and his body have this exchange with each other, without my interference.

What I learned next was that I was also deficient in properly worshiping my man’s body.  I was unskilled and unexperienced at it.  Frankly, I’m not sure I’ve ever even thought about worshiping a man’s body before I met my husband.

I thought back then that men (and bi or gay chicks) worshiped a woman’s body, I wasn’t aware that women worshiped men’s bodies.  I knew gay men worshiped men’s bodies, of course.

But me?

I had never realized my body itself had the natural impulse to worship a man’s body.  (I wrote about this more in a later post, How to Worship a Man's Body)

I found out pretty quickly from my husband that horny, sexually self-aware women definitely DO worship men’s bodies.  They worship every part of those bodies.  They do this lovingly and happily and sexually.  They touch, nibble, gaze at and truly worship every inch of them.  They want their man to strip for them and they want to explore his body with their eyes wide open and all the lights on.  They want to place his body before themselves and just drink him in visually.  They want him to pose and flex his muscles and do other things with his body. 

I suddenly saw examples all around me of just how sexually aggressive highly sexual women are and can be.  They do not just let themselves be worshiped, they also take the initiative to worship their partner.

Very quickly I got on board with this, because once I tried it I honestly felt my own body take over and truly worship his body.  I found it very easy to ask him to stand in front of me naked and let me just lightly touch and kiss down his whole back to his feet and everything in between…meanwhile my body is truly excited and drinking in this opportunity to just touch and kiss its lover.

I had (in the past) properly worshiped a woman's body myself, just not a man's.  If I was capable of true worship of a woman's body...why hadn't I been able to do this with a man's body?  I still can't quite answer that question.

I now feel sort embarrassed at the level of my previous sexual arrogance.  At one time in my life, I thought that men only worshiped women physically, it didn’t happen the other way around.  But since seeing the light on this issue, I feel like a sexual grown up now.

Instead of being arrogant, now I feel fierce when he’s worshiping me and I’m openly taking in all of his body’s love for me…but I also feel fierce as hell when I’m having him stand before me and I completely worship his body!  It has raised my awareness of my own Sexual Power to learn how to properly worship my man.

I have a follow up post on the topic of Sexual Power in the works right now, I will come back and link it here when it is ready.  When you and your partner can properly worship each other's bodies, you will be in a perfect Power balance, and that is an amazing sexual accomplishment.

If your body wants to play with, grab, kiss and worship its lover, let it!

Grabby Play Fun + Proper Mutual Worship = Happy, Sexually Fulfilled Bodies!  Nom nom nom.

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