Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Sexual Instructions

"Get your hands on me".

"Stop doing that, do this instead".

"Come over here".

"Take your shirt off".

"Get up on this".

These are some examples of sexual instructions.  Receiving and following sexual instructions makes me hot! And my husband is really good at giving them.

He is not a dom and I am definitely not a sub.  He can be dominant sexually at times and I can play like that.  But we don't do the full on dom/sub game, just not our thing.  I am a switch, but I like to ride in the middle most of the time.

Instructions are usually used by a dom to tell a sub what to do.  It may or may not be a sexual instruction.  Their game might center around regular, everyday things (like in the movie The Secretary where he is instructing her on how many bites of potatoes and peas to have at dinner).

That kind of instruction doesn't do it for me, but sexual instructions make me hot.  And it makes me REALLY hot.  I don't hear it as if he has authority over me, I take it more like "why you cocky man, you actually think you can tell me what to do" and then...I melt and do whatever he told me to do.

Not because he can "make me" do it and not because he is the boss of me, but because he is so damn sexy that I have no choice.  He's sexually fearless.  He accepts and expects no rejection, and he never gets one from me.  My body just moves at his sexual command, even if I feel a moment of hesitation first, I quickly get over it and follow his instructions.

It doesn't always work the other way around.  I can give him instructions, but I don't sound as sexy doing it and I just don't have quite as much mojo as he does.  I can pull it off, but I know it isn't the same.  I'm more likely to affect him by being seductive than by giving direct sexual instructions.  Once in awhile, I pull out a really great sexual instruction and blurt it out and it works well.  But usually he is the one giving the instructions.

The kind of sexual instructions I'm talking about are not the same as telling your lover what you enjoy, or what you are into, or how to be a better lover for you.  Those things would fall into sexual communication and sharing, not sexual instruction.

Some people are not going to be into giving or receiving sexual instructions.  It is definitely something that requires a consensual agreement between partners.  Please don't ever assume anything about giving or receiving instructions, talk about it and don't do it if it isn't fun and sexy for everyone involved.

But in our relationship, it is consensual and it puts some real fun into our sex life.  We are lively and lusty, and we like groping and sexing each other up all the time.  We communicate through our sexuality a lot.  He can't keep his hands off me, and I don't want him to.  We play wrestle and jump on the bed and throw each other around as foreplay.  He's my sexual playmate.  I love our sexy times, and the way he gives sexual instruction is one really fun part of it.

Here's some more examples:

When he comes home from work and points to the stoop (the place we usually stand to kiss each other) and says "get over here"...I know there is a really swoony good kiss coming my way if I follow those instructions.  If he is sitting and says "get over here" I know to run and jump on his lap, usually straddled and facing him.  The straddle mash is one of my favorite ways to kiss him!

If he takes me in his arms and then says "don't resist me", I know if I just relax he will pick me up and then put me into a mock slam-against-the-wall move.  Mmmm....slam-against-the-wall move.  (See related post: Lead and Follow in Dancing (and Sex)

He has a standard "get your hands on me" instruction that is possibly my favorite one.  He is a very sensual person and he likes to be touched (non-sexually as well as sexually).  This instruction is used mostly in public situations or in other places where we can't actually be overtly sexual toward each other.  He still likes to have our buzzing energy flowing back and forth between us during those times.  I like touching a lot, too but he is naturally more touchy than I am, so he has to remind me sometimes by saying "get your hands on me".  Usually this just means I will slip my arm through his, or slide my hand up the inside of his bicep, or put my palm on his leg.  The electricity between us bolts through me every time we have skin to skin contact.

Sometimes his instructions are as simple as "flash me".  And when I hear this one, I know I better just go ahead and pull up my shirt and get my bra unhooked and flash him, too...or else.

Or else what?

Or else he would pretend to become enraged and come at me and rip up my shirt to expose my breasts and grope them and make crazy Bigfoot sounds like he's out of control with primal sexual madness.

So as you can see, I have no choice but to comply.

But I want to do it anyway!  I want him to want to look at me and put his hands on me.  My body loves his fierce sexual attention on me all the time, so when he wants a flash, I become an exhibitionist and enjoy every moment of it and absorb his loving attention.

Though I may occasionally deny him just to get him to fly across the room and take my shirt off himself in a Bigfoot manner.  That's fun, too.

Any sexual instruction he gives me is something I already wanted to do.  In fact, as I explained in my post Feeding Your Frankenstein, I have a hard time keeping myself locked down.  So I'm brimming and hoping to get uncorked and let loose on him at any moment.  When he gives me some fun bit of instruction, I always know that I'm in for a good time.  He never fails to deliver the fun, that is for sure.

I don't want the instructions game to sound heavy and dark, it sooooo isn't.  He's always smiling and inviting and loving when he's giving instruction, even if he puts on his dominant hat for a moment or two.

Of course there are more explicit sexual instructions we play with during sex, and those are way fun, too, and some are even very dark.  But the every day sexual banter and playful instructions are fundamental to our good times, I think.  They keep me on the edge and keep him fed with the daily sexual energy exchange he requires.

Good times!

Monday, May 26, 2014


So...a website called Fleshbot put a link to my blog on their Blilf page.

(Blilf = blogs I'd like to F.  Cute,

I can't put a link of their site on mine because I'm keeping my site porn free.  But if you are curious, just google Fleshbot, it will be the first thing that pops up.

I'm really flattered to be linked on Fleshbot because it is a magazine about sex, porn and culture, yet my blog doesn't have any porn or erotica.

Most of the links and reviews on Fleshbot are very sexually explicit porn pics and gifs and videos, and then there's me, my sassy little pink and purple blog about my fab sex life with my husband, with no pics or erotica anything.  I feel like I'm sitting at the adult table!

The Fleshbot editor Mike McPadden apparently put me on the Blilf list, so I found him on twitter, sent him a "thanks" tweet and am now following him there @McBeardo.  Turns out he does other cool things too, like this: Heavy Metal Movies.

My husband and I had never checked out Fleshbot before so when I realized I was linked there I showed him the site and we spent some time going through it.

It was really fun!  There are many different categories and things to check out.  Some of the links play a short video or gif, but others take you to another site where you have to sign in to continue watching.  We avoided those and just checked out the pics, gifs and videos that were available on Fleshbot.  There was so much to check out, it was a smorgasbord of porn!

Ironically, we found the site was quite vanilla compared to our tastes in porn.  So even though I'm the vanilla Blilf of Fleshbot, the contents of Fleshbot are vanilla to me.  Don't get me wrong, there is some very hardcore porn there, but not any of the real freak show stuff.  I mean, there's only one link when I search the site for "clown porn"?  That's it?

Ok kidding...kidding.  (But not really, there was only one).

Regardless of the lack of freaky stuff, I highly recommend Fleshbot for anyone looking for some really hot bits of virus-free porn in many different naughty categories.

Thanks Mike and Fleshbot for the link on the Blilf list!  I'm flattered and my husband thought it was cool, too.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Humiliation and Degradation...Woot!

These two words, humiliation and degradation, don't mean what they usually mean, to me.  And by that I mean...

I never feel humiliated or degraded by anyone.  I'm pretty good with myself and if someone tried to put me down, unless I deserved it, I wouldn't feel put down.  I feel pretty worthy and sure of myself, in general.

I've never had anyone I loved try to put me down, though.  I imagine that if I had been through that, it could hurt very much to have someone putting me down.  I am thankful I haven't been hurt in that way and that my feelings of self-worth have never been attacked by anyone.

So when my husband calls me degrading names and insinuates that I can't stop humping things, it makes me laugh because it isn't actually degrading since it isn't true.

But it also makes me hot!  Why?  Why does it make me feel hot to be verbally degraded by him?  I don't know for sure, and I don't care.  I love it!

I really wouldn't have thought I'd be into verbal degradation as sex play before meeting my husband.  But he's just so lusty, funny and outrageous, he pulls it off in a way that keeps me laughing all the time, and keeps me on edge sexually.


Degradation only happens in the sexual sphere of our relationship.  All degradation coming from him is some variation on these two themes:

*I am a huge whore who can't ever get enough sex.

*I am so hot and so horny that everyone everywhere is trying to get on me, including men, women, and animals.

Using these themes, he has created a degradation story about me.  A story that isn't true, but he adds to the story almost every day.  The story has me just writhing and begging for sex.  Any time we see a woman in movies or on TV in this state, which is typically in porn but can be sometimes just a certain sexual look on a woman's face, my husband will immediately chime in with "Look, honey!  She's just like you!"

But...I'm not like that.  I'm really very far from that.  I am admittedly a highly sexual woman but I'm not an insatiable nympho, and I don't outwardly express my sexual frustration when I am feeling it.  I'm pretty good at keeping myself locked down.  Though, the fact that I'm horny for him all the time gives him all the fuel he needs for his little on-going story.

The things he says are funny because they are extremely sexual exaggerations of the truth...he paints me as a whore who is DTF at every moment of every day.

He also paints the rest of reality as if every creature in the world is DTF me.  Yes, every creature, man, woman and beast.  He acts like one glimpse of me stirs the lust of every living thing and he must constantly mate-guard me or else I would be attacked from all sides by lust crazed people and animals.  This sets us up for some really hilarious moments and fun times.

I talk about verbal degradation, the special names he has for me (my favorite one is Slutina), and his constant sexual harassment in this blog post: Groping, Harassment, and more...

This kind of sexual play is so much fun and it makes me so hot for him, but it is also so curiously stupid and juvenile.  I should be insulted!  He's saying I'm an out of control nympho with the whole world trying to get in my pants!

Somehow though...I like it.  I'm not insulted at all.  It is like he is giving me credit for being a far more sexual creature than I really am.  He takes the story he is making up about me, and treats me like it is true.  This creates a sexual atmosphere around us, all the time.  He uses it in any instance he can to make me laugh.  He usually then gropes me while I'm disarmed by laughing, with a big tickle grab.

One night, we were laying in bed and I was saying that my back hurt, and I was thinking I needed a new bed.  He immediately jumped in with "yeah baby, we'll get you a slutty cat pad and put you over in the corner!"

Now I'm a slutty cat who needs to be in the corner?

Again I want to say, these comments are used in the sexual part of our relationship.  In most of our daily communication, we don't use sexual degradation and humiliation.  We're quite sweet and soft to each other and have total respect and caring in place at all times.

When he pulls out one of his degrading comments, I know immediately we're back to his sex story about me.  He doesn't degrade anything about me, in reality.  He loves me a lot, in the romantic, loving way.

You have to be solid in yourself and your relationship to handle going from "oh honey, I love you so much" to "let's get a little cage to put you in so you can't hump all the furniture at night".

Or walking along together holding hands and talking softly, when a squirrel darts by.  Hubby immediately says "Dammit, I can't take you anywhere, your pheromones just scream SEX ME the instant we go outdoors and it drives all the woodland creatures into a rabid state!"

"Um, the squirrel didn't even notice us, it ran across the street way over there", I said.

"Exactly!  He ran off to tell all his friends down the street 'GET READY, THAT HOT CHICK IS COMING THIS WAY!'"

He knows how to make me laugh, and laughing makes me horny.  I've got a sick sense of humor so I realize that many of the ways I think he is funny might not be funny to others.  But we love using degradation in a way that makes us both laugh and makes us both horny.

Many people use degradation in a much deeper, darker way than we do.  But I like the light, funny way we do it.  In his degradation story about me, I will forever be the most exaggerated, most sexual version of myself possible.  And how fun would that chick be?  I love getting to pretend to be her and find out.  Woot!