And then there is partnered dance.
Blues Dancing (includes many variations)
Any of these dances can be danced with eroticism and passion like when dancing with a romantic partner, or they can be danced with respect and a purely platonic intention like when dancing with your grandmother.
The follow will get more credit for looking good. A lead's job is to make her look good. If your follow doesn't look good, comfortable and like she's having fun, then your job as a lead wasn't accomplished.
Notice she gets credit for looking good even though it is his responsibility to make sure she does...that is because she must actually look good. The part you can't do for her, the part she brings to the dance herself, is looking good. You can see this while watching any partnered lead-follow dance. You can see it in every picture I have posted here of lead and follow dancing. The lead is making (allowing the space and presentation for) her look good, and the follow is actually looking good (accomplished at dancing and enjoying herself with grace and style).
And with that in mind...
When he grabs my arm, I know how to follow where he is pushing or pulling me with it…so that it only looks like he is pushing or pulling me. I know how to follow while looking like I am resisting. Therefore, we can play rough like this without ever actually hurting me....even though we make it look like he is hurting me or roughly handling me. And he does handle me very rough, because I'm into that. It just isn't as rough as it would appear to an onlooker.
*consider both of our safety,
*know if there is any obstacle on the bed,
*know if my body is in a good position to be grabbed at that moment,
*know that I am aware he is about to lead me into something,
*and then plan his next several moves all while executing those moves in a sexy way.
It is a lot of work! All I have to do is surrender and follow….and ahhhhh….(damn I LOVE getting thrown down on the bed).
Here are some other fun sex related moves we can execute using lead and follow techniques...
*He can grab me by the back of the neck and lead my whole body using a gentle grip.
*He can put his hand on the small of my back or on my waist and lead me from there with just the lightest pressure of his finger tips.
*He can grab up a bunch of my hair in a big fist and pull on it, I can follow his pull so that it doesn't hurt at all but looks incredibly rough.
*He can stop me from moving toward something dangerous in several ways with simple lead and follow body communication, which is very useful. I trust him to lead me to safety and away from danger, and he always does. An every day example would be if he gave me a small lead cue to stop me from stepping out in front of a passerby I hadn't seen. A sexy example would be when he gives me a small lead cue to make me go a different direction because he sees some guy eye-balling me up ahead of us. (I love when he mate-guards me).
Learn about tension and compression. Learn about frame. Learn about responsibility and surrender. Learn about your body and how it moves. Learn about the mental energy we are always using to control our bodies. It is fascinating and helps with your overall mind-body connection to know how to dance, lead or follow. Learning to dance enhances your sex life in so many ways.
Read another post about sex and dancing I wrote: Connection = Tension + Compression